Just Walk Away
My dad was one of my best friends and really the most caring person I have ever known. No matter what, he would always have the best advice or always be there to help if you needed it. He was technically my grandfather, but he and my grandmother adopted me when I was 10 months old. I wouldn't have asked for anything different.
My dad had been a smoker for a very long time, as well as most of my older family. My aunt and mom smoked through their pregnancies because back in the 60's it wasn't a big deal. When we moved down to Tucson from Billings, Montana in 1995 they were all still smoking away. Eventually my dad decided he wanted to quit. This was around 1999. A year later my mom and aunt followed in quitting. My dad still had trouble breathing sometimes and was always a cougher due to having COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease).
My dad had been a smoker for a very long time, as well as most of my older family. My aunt and mom smoked through their pregnancies because back in the 60's it wasn't a big deal. When we moved down to Tucson from Billings, Montana in 1995 they were all still smoking away. Eventually my dad decided he wanted to quit. This was around 1999. A year later my mom and aunt followed in quitting. My dad still had trouble breathing sometimes and was always a cougher due to having COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease).
My mom, dad, and I in early 2008
Even having that it didn't stop him from being active such as selling leather and knives at the Tanque Verde Swap Meet or taking me to soccer or dance practice during the week. He was always there at my games running up and down the sidelines cheering me on or yelling at the refs. During my sophomore year of high school, my mom picked me up from school to drive me to dance practice. However, when I got in the car this time, it felt different right away. My mom told me she needed to tell me something and that everything was going to be okay. My dad had just found out he had prostate cancer. I have never felt more terrible in my life, my biological mother passed away from skin cancer when I was 8 months old. I soon realized this wasn't the end of the world.
Since they had caught the cancer early on, they were able to remove his prostate. Here is some quick comical relief. When they removed my dad's prostate, he had to have a catheter put in. A catheter is a flexible tube inserted through a narrow opening into a body cavity, particularly the bladder, for removing fluid. After they removed the catheter, he had to wear something similar to an adult diaper, however this was just a pad. He was with my mom and aunt at Home Depot and had been wearing short. Somehow this pad had fallen out of his shorts and into the aisle. My dad being as goofy as he was just told them to quickly walk away as he kicked it under the aisle. I feel so sorry for whoever had to find that. But if you knew my dad, you would be laughing so hard right now. Now back to the rest of the story. Through my junior year of high school he still continued to go to swap meet and sell, just not as often. I remember growing up and he would be up usually by 7am if not before, but after having the cancer, he would not get up until 9am most days. In the middle of 2008, blood work came back and they decided that they wanted to do radiation. In August he completed radiation and from what my family was told by him he was cancer free. We were all happy to hear that especially because he had just had his 70th birthday.
Since they had caught the cancer early on, they were able to remove his prostate. Here is some quick comical relief. When they removed my dad's prostate, he had to have a catheter put in. A catheter is a flexible tube inserted through a narrow opening into a body cavity, particularly the bladder, for removing fluid. After they removed the catheter, he had to wear something similar to an adult diaper, however this was just a pad. He was with my mom and aunt at Home Depot and had been wearing short. Somehow this pad had fallen out of his shorts and into the aisle. My dad being as goofy as he was just told them to quickly walk away as he kicked it under the aisle. I feel so sorry for whoever had to find that. But if you knew my dad, you would be laughing so hard right now. Now back to the rest of the story. Through my junior year of high school he still continued to go to swap meet and sell, just not as often. I remember growing up and he would be up usually by 7am if not before, but after having the cancer, he would not get up until 9am most days. In the middle of 2008, blood work came back and they decided that they wanted to do radiation. In August he completed radiation and from what my family was told by him he was cancer free. We were all happy to hear that especially because he had just had his 70th birthday.
http://www.radrounds.com/photo/lung-biopsy
After that, I noticed that my dad was losing more weight and barely eating. Not to mention sleeping all day and his cough was getting worse. I remember this week like it was yesterday. He had been coughing pretty badly and I offered to skip school to take him to the VA to get checked out because he was having trouble breathing on top of that. He told me not to worry and that he was completely fine. The following day which was Friday, the 24th of October, my mom took him to the VA since he could hardly breathe. My family and I had figured it was no big deal and that they just wanted to see what was up. During his stay in the hospital they did multiple tests and asked if he had been around asbestos while he was in the U.S. Air Force. At first they thought he just had a really bad lung infection. As the days continued, his symptoms and breathing got worse and he eventually had to go into the intensive care unit. His doctor decided that they needed to do a biopsy of his lung to see what kind of infection it was. That was on Wednesday the 29th. Basically how they did the biopsy was just cut out a small piece of his lung. The nurse he had was really great and walked me through putting an IV in and checking the IV bags. I think that really helped me to not freak out. After they did the biopsy, the doctor came back in and showed me pictures of the piece of lung and how they sent it off to the lab. The piece of lung looked similar to a worm and I thought it was pretty cool.
The next day, I went to school because again, we weren't worried because the doctor still had thought it was just a bad infection. Towards the end of the day I got called into the front office and my aunt and uncle were waiting there for me. They had come to get me from school because the biopsy had come back and it was cancer. At this point, it was so far along that they couldn't do anything but put him into hospice and make him comfortable. When I went to go see him, he just told me that I needed to stay strong for my family and that he loved me. On Thursday, they had told us that my dad had at least 3 days if not longer so all my family from California and Montana started heading to Tucson to say goodbye. On Friday which was Halloween, I stayed home from school to go with my mom to the hospital while they moved my dad into hospice. I had just turned 18 at the time and I don't think I realized exactly how serious it was. His room mate had been in hospice for a month and I definitely didn't think that my dad would even pass away. After my dad was moved to hospice at 11am, I was in and out of his room since he was on morphine and just sleeping. At 2pm, I went in and kissed him goodbye saying I'd be right back and I was going to get our dog, Oreo, to come see him. He told me he loved me and that he would see me when I got home. I was talking to my aunt on the phone when she said to hold on that my mom was calling. My uncle had called me back and told me I needed to go back to the hospital. I didn't want to believe what I had heard and sped back to the VA. Right after I had left my dad passed away with my mom at his side.
This may seem like a sad story but it isn't. My dad lived a great life and was always there for anyone that needed it, even complete strangers. I strive every day to be a better person and be the person he was. One Christmas Eve when we had moved out to Vail, we ran down to Quik Mart to pick up something we needed. He started talking to a guy there who was somehow stranded and didn't have anywhere to go and was from Montana. So my dad brought him to our house so that he could enjoy Christmas as well. My dad was a wonderful man and I am happy to have spent 18 years with him.
This may seem like a sad story but it isn't. My dad lived a great life and was always there for anyone that needed it, even complete strangers. I strive every day to be a better person and be the person he was. One Christmas Eve when we had moved out to Vail, we ran down to Quik Mart to pick up something we needed. He started talking to a guy there who was somehow stranded and didn't have anywhere to go and was from Montana. So my dad brought him to our house so that he could enjoy Christmas as well. My dad was a wonderful man and I am happy to have spent 18 years with him.