Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD)
It all started on the first day of high school. I actually missed the first day because I had such a bad panic attack I was vomiting. My mom allowed me to stay home from school. I missed the first day, which could be considered the most important day of the year. I was able to go to school the next day but not without vomiting before I left the house. On the bus on the way to school was a different story because I got to socialize with my friends and I felt comfortable around them. However, every morning as the bus would start to pull into the school drop off zone I would get nervous, my palms would start to sweat and my knees would get shaky. I thought this was normal you know; every kid is nervous on the first day of school or hell, even in the first week they are still nervous. I slowly got over being so nervous in the mornings and I stopped vomiting. The feeling of nervousness or sense of dread I guess I felt when actually arriving at school never went away. It didn’t help that I was bullied sometimes either at school or on the bus. Then on December 5th 2007 my grandmother passed away from bladder cancer. This hit me very hard. I went into a bout of depression and I never really felt the same. She was the first person in my life that I knew very closely who had died. I was severely depressed on and off for the rest of my time at public school. At the beginning of senior year I found a school that I could complete online and graduate early from. I was so happy that I found this. Now I could get up in the morning and I could just go to school in my own home and not be bullied or judged for what I wear or how I looked. After completely high school online and graduating early I got a job working at Gamestop and the panic attacks started again in full force. I had multiple attacks every day. I finally had enough and I talked to my mother and scheduled an appointment with my doctor to address all these issues that I had been having. When I met with him he told me that it was not normal to feel the way I was feeling and I explained that the issues started when I was in high school. We addressed my panic attacks, my fear of going to public places with a lot of people and my depression. He prescribed Sertraline and Alprazolam. These medications helped me immensely.
As of today I have been medication free for almost two years. I am now a full time student working on getting certified to be a Medical Assistant. After I get a job I want to eventually go back to school and become a Radiologic Technician. During the time when I was on the medication I was advised to see a behavioral therapist. I did not want to do that because I wanted to solve my SAD on my own. I accomplished this by purposely putting myself in social situations. It doesn’t have to be with strangers it can be with people you know. At least that’s what helped me. It’s just about focusing on getting better and keeping your anxiety in check. Sometimes I still get depressed but I work through it and just do something positive with my time. Everyone gets depressed but we just have to look forward and find something good that makes us happy to strive toward.
As of today I have been medication free for almost two years. I am now a full time student working on getting certified to be a Medical Assistant. After I get a job I want to eventually go back to school and become a Radiologic Technician. During the time when I was on the medication I was advised to see a behavioral therapist. I did not want to do that because I wanted to solve my SAD on my own. I accomplished this by purposely putting myself in social situations. It doesn’t have to be with strangers it can be with people you know. At least that’s what helped me. It’s just about focusing on getting better and keeping your anxiety in check. Sometimes I still get depressed but I work through it and just do something positive with my time. Everyone gets depressed but we just have to look forward and find something good that makes us happy to strive toward.