Resurrection
Zoe (back row, third from the left) with her family
I have known one of my friends, Zoe, for as long as I can remember. She grew up in a large, Catholic, homeschooling family. I know to a lot of people this can sound strange, but I can relate perfectly because I was raised the same way. There is one major aspect of Zoe's life, however, that I cannot personally relate to: her struggle with anorexia.
Anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder, is one of the deadliest psychological disorders in existence. It is characterized by restrictive eating and an intense fear of being overweight. Both men and women can have anorexia, but about 95% of anorexics are female. The risk of developing this disorder is also higher for people who are white, in their teenage years, belong to the middle or upper classes of society, or work in a situation where thinness is valued. Unfortunately, this made Zoe the perfect candidate.
There is no one specific reason that causes anorexia to develop, but it is often a mixture of biological, psychological, and social factors. Possible biological causes can include genetic heritability, dysfunction in a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, and neurotransmitter level imbalances. Researchers are currently looking for any genes that can make a person more susceptible to developing anorexia, and believe they may have found one located on chromosome 1p. The hypothalamus can have an affect on this disorder because it regulates certain metabolic processes, and neurotransmitters are important because they are responsible for signaling and regulatory processes.
Anorexia nervosa, an eating disorder, is one of the deadliest psychological disorders in existence. It is characterized by restrictive eating and an intense fear of being overweight. Both men and women can have anorexia, but about 95% of anorexics are female. The risk of developing this disorder is also higher for people who are white, in their teenage years, belong to the middle or upper classes of society, or work in a situation where thinness is valued. Unfortunately, this made Zoe the perfect candidate.
There is no one specific reason that causes anorexia to develop, but it is often a mixture of biological, psychological, and social factors. Possible biological causes can include genetic heritability, dysfunction in a part of the brain called the hypothalamus, and neurotransmitter level imbalances. Researchers are currently looking for any genes that can make a person more susceptible to developing anorexia, and believe they may have found one located on chromosome 1p. The hypothalamus can have an affect on this disorder because it regulates certain metabolic processes, and neurotransmitters are important because they are responsible for signaling and regulatory processes.
Zoe in a beauty pageant
Aside from the biological reasons that may have had an effect on her, there were two things that that were the main causes of Zoe's anorexia: the desire for beauty and the need for control.
When she was younger, Zoe's mom did some modeling. While there is nothing wrong with that, it did cause problems for Zoe, who believed she would never be able to live up to her mother's beauty. This belief was only strengthened when she herself began modeling. Even though the company she was working for was legitimate and had a good reputation, she was told she had to lose a certain amount of weight by a specific date. To make sure she would be able to, the company supplied her with diet pills and urged her to take them, even though she was underage at the time and it was unhealthy for her.
The other reason, the need for control, is commonly associated with anorexia. For Zoe, this cause came from her mother as well. Her mom has a very controlling personality, and as Zoe grew up this conflicted with her need to have some control over her own life. Changing her eating habits was the perfect solution, in her eyes -- not only was this something completely in her control, but she believed it would make her more beautiful as well.
Zoe's experience with eating disorders did not actually begin with anorexia. She first had binge eating disorder (BED), which developed when she was about fourteen. BED is when a person frequently, and sometimes uncontrollably, eats unusually large amounts of food. This changed to its polar opposite, anorexia, when she was fifteen and became obsessed with beauty and control.
As Zoe's anorexia became worse and worse, she lost weight, but this was not the only change. Anorexia is such a dangerous disorder because of its effects on the whole body. She was often dizzy, and fainted frequently. She had wild mood swings and became paranoid. She started to lose her hair, and she stopped getting her period every month. These are some other symptoms that can be caused by anorexia:
When she was younger, Zoe's mom did some modeling. While there is nothing wrong with that, it did cause problems for Zoe, who believed she would never be able to live up to her mother's beauty. This belief was only strengthened when she herself began modeling. Even though the company she was working for was legitimate and had a good reputation, she was told she had to lose a certain amount of weight by a specific date. To make sure she would be able to, the company supplied her with diet pills and urged her to take them, even though she was underage at the time and it was unhealthy for her.
The other reason, the need for control, is commonly associated with anorexia. For Zoe, this cause came from her mother as well. Her mom has a very controlling personality, and as Zoe grew up this conflicted with her need to have some control over her own life. Changing her eating habits was the perfect solution, in her eyes -- not only was this something completely in her control, but she believed it would make her more beautiful as well.
Zoe's experience with eating disorders did not actually begin with anorexia. She first had binge eating disorder (BED), which developed when she was about fourteen. BED is when a person frequently, and sometimes uncontrollably, eats unusually large amounts of food. This changed to its polar opposite, anorexia, when she was fifteen and became obsessed with beauty and control.
As Zoe's anorexia became worse and worse, she lost weight, but this was not the only change. Anorexia is such a dangerous disorder because of its effects on the whole body. She was often dizzy, and fainted frequently. She had wild mood swings and became paranoid. She started to lose her hair, and she stopped getting her period every month. These are some other symptoms that can be caused by anorexia:
Zoe's parents didn't know what to do. They didn't take it seriously in the beginning, thinking it was just a phase and telling her to snap out of it. However, this did nothing to improve her situation, and by the time she was sixteen she not only had anorexia, but bulimia as well. This meant that when she did eat, she would feel the need to purge and get rid of the food.
Her life was probably saved by her photography teacher, who finally convinced her parents that this disorder was serious and would not improve on its own. He was also the one to find her one day, when she was trying to purge and ended up coughing up blood because her esophagus tore. She fell unconscious and was taken to the hospital for surgery.
Her life was probably saved by her photography teacher, who finally convinced her parents that this disorder was serious and would not improve on its own. He was also the one to find her one day, when she was trying to purge and ended up coughing up blood because her esophagus tore. She fell unconscious and was taken to the hospital for surgery.
Zoe loves singing - she's good at it, too
This day, the one that almost killed her, was the day that changed her life. While she was in the hospital, she realized how close she was to death. It hit her that if she died, she wouldn't be able to do any of the things she loved, such as singing or teaching. She decided to live.
Zoe was in rehab for two months at Remuda Ranch. She is about 5'10", and her lowest weight during her anorexic period was 112 lbs. By the time she went home, her weight was back up at a much healthier 140 lbs.
However, the road to recovery has not been an easy one for her. Anorexia basically becomes an addiction, and as she put it, "you get a high off of starvation after a while." Even though she has technically recovered, she still has had relapses and gets tempted to return to her anorexia.
She has come a long way towards self-acceptance, though. Religion has played a big part in her recovery. She lost her faith for a while, but it has returned to her stronger than ever. She knows that God made her exactly the way she is, and He did it on purpose. She's realized that a woman does not need to be skinny to be attractive, but that some curves on a woman are beautiful.
Today, Zoe does all she can to promote awareness about anorexia and other eating disorders. She wants her story to be told so that good can come from her experience. She has a new dream now, too -- she hopes to be able to help someone, and change their life for the better, the way her teacher did for her.
Zoe was in rehab for two months at Remuda Ranch. She is about 5'10", and her lowest weight during her anorexic period was 112 lbs. By the time she went home, her weight was back up at a much healthier 140 lbs.
However, the road to recovery has not been an easy one for her. Anorexia basically becomes an addiction, and as she put it, "you get a high off of starvation after a while." Even though she has technically recovered, she still has had relapses and gets tempted to return to her anorexia.
She has come a long way towards self-acceptance, though. Religion has played a big part in her recovery. She lost her faith for a while, but it has returned to her stronger than ever. She knows that God made her exactly the way she is, and He did it on purpose. She's realized that a woman does not need to be skinny to be attractive, but that some curves on a woman are beautiful.
Today, Zoe does all she can to promote awareness about anorexia and other eating disorders. She wants her story to be told so that good can come from her experience. She has a new dream now, too -- she hopes to be able to help someone, and change their life for the better, the way her teacher did for her.
"On September 19th, 2008, I suffered a Mallory-Weiss tear caused by my eating disorder. I ended up in a hospital gurney staring at the ceiling and wondering if I was supposed to live.
Something kept me going. That day, I fell hard, but at the same time, I discovered hope. This tattoo memorializes the day that saved me and the many people I have to thank for my recovery." ~Zoe
Resources:
http://www.medicinenet.com/anorexia_nervosa/article.htm
http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/anorexia-nervosa.cfm
http://www.medicinenet.com/anorexia_nervosa/article.htm
http://www.womenshealth.gov/publications/our-publications/fact-sheet/anorexia-nervosa.cfm